I am sitting on my bed in the usual hostel in San Jose, Costa Rica. The hostel that saw so many hellos and goodbyes from my part. Wanting to share something before I step on that hella plane that will take me to Italy, home
My favourite quote right now is Nahko’s, which says
I traveled out into the countries & back
only to find
and I’m ok with that
cause for real – I really went out into the countries & back, and I really could find only love
Maybe that’s what it was all about – unlearning the control on life, and starting to letting yourself feel in a pure way again, like a kid
These are the lessons I learned from my experiences: Nothing ever stays the same, we have to love hard and let go hard, everything has its own time of happening, and life is love
I learned to love wildly.
I learned to dance wildly with my eyes closed.
I learned to break my heart open, and let light come in.
I learned to drink every pipa fria as if it was the last one I’d ever drink.
I learned to swim in the ocean as if it was my mama holding me in her arms.
I learned to make love passionately.
I learned to have sex and connect to people and let them go their own way even if it hurts.
I learned to love people even if they don’t love me back.
I learned to accept, trust, and surrender.
I learned the beauty and power of reggaeton beats in the night.
I learned the plants’ language.
I learned how to speak to mama Earth.
I learned how much dorm rooms stink, saw the beauty of cockroaches and the wisdom of spiders.
I saw God in the eyes of a cat.
I saw unconditional love in the eyes of a street dog.
I learned how ‘unhealthy’ food can be healthy, too.
I learned the power of storytelling and the messages in stories.
I learned pure friendship and full trust in people.
I learned family, in every sense.
I learned delusion.
I felt music in my being.
I felt the messages of the wind and air.
I conversed with the ocean.
I learned the meaning of dragonflies and butterflies and of the wind and words.
I learned what synchronicity is and how fucking awesome it is.
I learned being so completely lost & confused.
I learned depression.
I learned winter, and summer.
I learned being dependent on someone, I learned true love, and delusion, and pain, and letting go of the love of your life.
I saw God in the hands of a woman (Flori squeezing the juice out of grinded coconut).
I learned God in old people.
I learned how to dance in a club under the stars next to the Caribbean ocean to the beats of reggaeton and surrounded by burned tourists and black rastas and that is probably the best thing I learned.
I learned so much more but for now this is enough
All there is left, is being grateful
That’s all I can say.
Thank you, from the very very bottom of my big big heart, thank you so much for everything
e mi fondo
con il cielo
e con il fango