It’s been a while.
In Costa Rica, the ‘tasty coast’, I have lived many different times in many different settings. Lately, I lived in a secluded permaculture raw farm on a hilltop next to a flowing waterfall, walking distance from the beach. I lived together with other fifteen people, from youngest to oldest, in tents or wooden beds built just for us, sleeping every night under the stars. We lived among plants and in a community.
I have been exposed, and not for the first time, to a spiritual path and a daily practice to get more open to the great spirit. I was surprised to see the results of this one month experience. I thought I knew already what I needed to know. I learned about the Earth Mother and the Real Life years before, so I expected no added knowledge. I came back to the Matrix with a heart more open than never before and a deeper understanding, or I better say feeling, about everything.
I slept under the stars with two very young girls. The whole tribe was occupied in a ceremony I wasn’t taking part in, and I was watching the girls. I found myself in a wooden, large bed under a snow white mosquito net, under a trapiche shack in the middle of the jungle, with two sleeping angels laying next to me, with me. Raw, real. Feeling. I had never felt such a maternity and sisterhood at the same time for two little babies trusting their whole heart and giving their whole being to me, putting their life into my hands. The adults singing next to a fire, far away. Just me and them and the darkness.
Bhavani woke up in the middle of the night screaming ‘Mommy!’. I froze, didn’t know what to do. Who knew what the mommy was doing, and it was too dark and late to go check the ceremony. I heared the sound of the frogs, incredibly loud and imposing. It was cold and the white, soft blanket we where sharing was not enough to keep the shivers away. The flame of the candle on the nearby table was dancing, creating big shadows. In a blink of a moment, Satya’s words: ‘It’s just a bird!’. She knew what to say to her sister. ‘Yes, just a bird’, I whispered.
Back to sleep. Just like that, as if nothing happened. They knew how to get along, just them.
Then I remember Ashley’s sight and her warm being coming near me, opening the mosquito net and gazing into my eyes with her big, strong eyes, as she always did and what always unsettled me. Maternity. Giving her the Satya and Vanibaby and walking slowly, still blinking in the first lights of the morning shine. I remember walking down to my bed, laying down and covering myself with my violet sleeping bag, finally warming my body properly. Then raising up, walking down to the kitchen, and seeing. I finally saw, for the first time in my life, probably? Who knows. I just remember how I blinked into the field of dry soil below the kitchen and seeing a magical, glowing energy surrounding everything in that space. I saw people dressed in white, a dying fire and an infinite glow. I think it’s the glow of love.
My piers partecipated in a ayawaska plant medicine ceremony, and that was the morning after their night-long journey. I saw the glow of love, that is how the essence of love feels like. I walked down, to them. Still wearing my white, native american poncho from the night before. They embraced me with hearts wide open, sharing with me their experience. I guess that from the outside, we all looked like glowing, white angels came from the skies or something near that.
I never felt so much concentrated love shared between people, before that morning. All were feeling so close to each other and compassionate because of the ceremony. Their eyes glowed. Their faces did, too, framed by their smiles. Touch was another touch. Words spoken much more aligned. Gazes much more intentional. Exchange of energy. Crying, laughing, screaming, dancing, walking, seeing, smiling wide open, laying down on the soil dirtying the white pieces of clothing, crying more, of joy. Of abundance.
Kids playing around. I layed down on the mother and started feel the tears on my face while I saw little leaves spiraling down to me when one took my attention and then landed on my right shoulder, on the precise spot that ached from the night before. It ached all night, while looking after the girls and while the night was looking after me. Also Ashley’s was hurting, she then told me. The little leaf landed on the aching spot and soothed it with a flow of energy. Of course, I laughed, and cried some more.
Sisterhood is what I felt the most during the whole month of tribal community sharing of stories and secrets and merging souls, sisterhood is what I really learned. I experienced maternity, too. And the feminine in the masculine. The infinite feminine I recently am seeing in everything and everywhere and cannot hide anymore. Paths are many, but Truth is one.
Also, Earth Mother. I got to know her deeper. She conversed with me on a deeper level, even if I thought to have conversed enough the years before. She showed me I never stop learning and growing and getting to know other aspects of the truth. I connected to her so much more intensly. She showed me how great her spirit can be, and really, how invincible it is. How undestructible it is. We are. She is not. If we destroy the Earth, we will just destroy ourselves and our ability to live, not her. She was here before us and will continue to be after us. She will only get stronger without us. We need to be careful about this concept.
We need to open up and accept the truth which is constantly everywhere.